Have I Got Dirt For You by Dominique J. Darmon

Author:Dominique J. Darmon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Amsterdam University Press
Published: 2022-08-22T10:38:06+00:00

Tips for employees

1. Managers hate gossip.

Managers who notice their employees gossiping will tend to rate them poorly. So, beware! Managers have the impression that a worker gossiping is wasting time and creating a negative atmosphere. And they may also have the feeling that they are the topic of gossip (which, indeed, is very often true). Even if you are sharing positive stories at the watercooler, you can be pretty sure that your manager will not see the difference.

2. Gossip about celebrities. It’s a lot safer.

Andreas Wismeijer (2020), a psychologist at Tilburg University, claims that a celebrity can feel like a type of common friend to everybody. We know them but they do not know us. It’s safe to gossip about Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt. They will never know (or care) that we gossiped about them. Unlike a colleague or a manager, they will never find out. And, as we have seen, not getting caught is of the essence!

3. If you are caught, don’t deny it or lie—especially if the gossip is in writing.

Mark Rutte saw that the consequences of lying were even worse than getting caught. Most experts agree that the best strategy is to own it. “Like mold in the basement, the damage caused by being linked to gossip continues to grow if left unchecked,” Michael Stern, an expert on workplace culture (cited in Galt, 2007), explains: “If you know you’ve been caught, don’t pretend you weren’t. You need to have a face-to-face talk with the other person and attempt to put the comments in context and apologize if necessary.”

Jane Burnett, author of the article ‘3 ways to move forward when you get caught gossiping about a colleague’ (2018), says it’s best not to do it too quickly, as the apology may come across as insincere: it will look like you are more sorry for getting caught. Wait a bit, then promise the third party that this will never happen again, and that you will handle such situations differently in the future.

4. So… don’t get caught.

When gossip originating from the Dutch political party Democrats ‘66 came into the open that, apparently, politician and informant Johan Remkes had a drinking problem, Sigrid Kaag, the leader of the party, immediately took responsibility and came clean. “The words have been withdrawn immediately,” she claimed at the start of a parliamentary session.

But the damage was done. She and her party still came under fire. Politicians called them ‘cowards’ and described the gossip as ‘sad talk.’

Keep in mind that once you get caught, the damage may be irreversible. So, the best thing is not to get caught!

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